I'm ready to know! (but I don't)

So, it's Tuesday. There was a point yesterday morning where I couldn't imagine getting through even the next two days. But I did.

But let me start at the beginning..

My girls weekend was amazing! It was great to be with good girlfriends and relax and not constantly think about Am I pregnant or not? What if I'm not? So nice to have my mind off it for a few days.

Plus, my friends knew what i was going through, and it was just comfortable and easy to be around them..

Then, I came home. Reality set in.

On Monday morning, i don't know why.. i just lost it and I Needed.To.Know. Right.Then.

So, I decided to POAS. I was 6dp6dt, so, yeah, I know, it's early.But I thought, one of my blog freinds got a positive on 6dp6dt. So, it's possible. But it's actually a great time to test, because, well, shoot, it can't hurt. Even if it's negative, I won't be discouraged, because it's early. Just because I know someone who got a BFP on 6dp6dt, but that doesn't mean everyone does. I won't be discouraged, only thrilled if it's positive.

So, let's just see.

So I P'dOAS.

And I got nothen.

And I kinda lost it and started googling for 6dp6dt and trying to see what everyone else got. And I found lots and lots of faint lines on 6dp6dt and started to get sad and upset and realize that I'm probably not pregnant and maybe I'll never get pregnant and I'll have to work for the rest of my life and be childess and never have grandkids. And I don't want to work anymore.. and .. well, you know the downward spin cycle. The pity party began.

I went to show Carlos the negative test, and cried to him. He got mad at me and told me not to test anymore. And I tried to explain why POAS is a really good idea for me. Yeah, obviously. So, the pity party continued. Now, I just had a guest. Be glad none of you called me during this time. We would have had a major pity party of 3! Pity party and crying spells last for 5 more minutes..

Until I remembered that my embryos were frozen on day 5.

I was only 6dp5dt.... Everything changes.. Come here, Dr. Google.

And then I realized, that oh, yeah, and it's Monday, and transfer was Wednesday. It's only 5 days past transfer.

So, i wasn't 6dp6dt, I was 5dp5dt.

(I know you are all thinking, Pass the crack, Gabby. You are on drugs!)

All was better with my little world. And I decided to step away from the computer and go to work. I am very busy at work, and that has kept my mind off the wondering for the last two days. For the most part.

So, I was supposed to have Beta #1 this morning and Beta #2 on Thursday. But I had a business trip this morning for which I had to leave at 6:00 am. So I emailed my nurse coordinator and asked if I could change my betas to Wednesday and Friday.

So, I'll head in tomorrow at 7:30 for the blood test. I won't know the results until Friday. My clinic freezes and tests both blood samples after the second Beta. Friday I only work until noon, so I'll be home and out of work when i hear the results. Carlos and I will go away for Labor Day weekend... to either celebrate or.. commiserate. so I have that to look forward to either way.

Thanks a ton for following me. I love your comments and good wishes!