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Saturday, May 30, 2009

4th beta at 17dpo

Well, my beta didn't exactly double..

But it didn't go down, either.

So, I'm still in limbo land.

At 17 dpo, my beta was 34.

As a reminder, my first two betas were 5.2 and 10.4. Then the hcg got a little crazy two days later and was 23.6.

So, now I have 42 reasons to be hopeful.

This time, Carlos and I talked to the nurse pretty extensively after my blood test.

I asked if a lack of progesterone could have had anything to do with it. I am paranoid because I chose not to do the PIO, but rather do endometrin (and diapers) three times a day. For the uninitiated, Endometrin is a tablet you use a tampon-like gadget to insert three times a day. The nurse assured me that I am geting enough progesterone with it, and not to think anything about that. She was very re-assuring, but I bet you next time, I will be brave and do the PIO.

She talked to us about warning signs for an ectopic and told us to get me to the emergency room if I expereince those. That was a very comforting conversation. (sarcasm)

When she called with the results, she said that the Dr. asked that I come in on Monday. So I made an apointment for 7:30 am. I think it's so interesting that this RE wants me to come in Monday, but as of last Thursday, the other RE wasn't going to have me come in for eight more days, the normal Beta #3 day.

Personally I'd rather go in more often. I just really want to know what is going on.

She told me a couple more things. One, no sex, baths, or swimming until after my period comes and goes this time. Too much risk of infection. But if the levels go down, then I could have a glass of wine. I'm not a huge drinker, so I'm not so concerned about that. But, nice to know.

And she also told me that mostof the time, the REs want to not start the next treatment cycle until after 2 more periods, this one and the next one. So, depending on what happens, I guess I'll have to refill the BCPs pretty soon, since we do not want to get pregnant on our own.

So, back to trying to be positive. Maybe I'll listen to the Anji meditation CDs tonight.

Praying that this really, really late implantation, in my uterus and not my tubes, and growth that speeds up soon.

I Took a Home Pregnancy Test

I went to Walgreen's last night. I had a "Transfer your prescription and get 25 bucks," and they burn a hole in my pocket if I don't use them quickly. So I transferred my folic acid prescription way early and went there.

They were like "this will take 45 minutes" because we have to fax this information to Rite Aid.

I'm like "Who faxes anymore?" But whatever, I can go look around anyway.

So, I go to the pregnancy test aisle. My theory is to find one that detects the highest amount of HCG, not one of the early result. Since my beta level was 23-point-something on Thursday, I figured i would test on Saturday first morning urine, and it would have to be at least 50 for me to continue hoping. I think in general the 50+ detectors are the non-early result ones.

Out of all the tests at Walgreen's, there was only one that was non-early results. ONE! It's was the Walgreens brand, and it was on sale 9.99 for a pack of two. I know all you smart infertiles buy them at the dollar store, but I am not really a hoarder of them, and I don't know where there is a Dollar Store, and I had a 25 dollar coupon anyway.

SO, I tested this morning. And I got a big minus, where there shoudl have been a plus. I woke up Carlos and asked him to look at it. I brought him the instructions and said "Which one does this look like?"

He pointed to the negative on the instructions, and I really agree.

I told my dad what was going on the other day and he said, "Well, a little pregnant is better than not pregnant at all." On the phone, I said, "Yeah, there's hope." But right now, I've decided that no, it's not.

If i'm not pregnant, I can have sex with my husband. I can take a bath and shave my legs. I can go to the nail salon. I can use the scale in our bathroom that sends a shock wave through your body to tell you your muscular percentage and body fat. (It might be dangerous in pregnancy.) I can go have some sushi. I can have some wine. I can go for a run.

Oh yeah, and I can cancel the acupuncture appointment I have for Tuesday and save that 75 bucks for early retirement. And I can stop taking the estrogen pills and progesterone tablets, and stop spending money on panty liners.

I can make plans for What To Do Next.

Wow, I'm starting to get excited about not being pregnant.

So, I called the clinic and said I wanted to come in. When did I want to come in? they asked. Well, now would work or i coudl come in thirty minutes. (I'm going to be great at giving choices to my children when I have them.)

So, I'll have some sort of report later tonight.

And advice on what to do next is welcome.

Friday, May 29, 2009

50 Reasons to Be Hopeful

I am loving this Betabase!

Yeah, I have read the horror stories of the ectopics and miscarriages, but for now, I am choosing to focus on this.

I cut and pasted it here, but the bar graph looks cooler on the site.

Thanks for your prayers.. for now, I am thankful and happy to be pregnant!

Day 15* -- 2430 Single Pregnancies Recorded
Beta range (Number of Pregnancies in this range)
3 - 5 (2)
5 - 9 (2)
9 - 16 (13)
16 - 29 (50)
29 - 51 (103)
51 - 90 (327)
90 - 160 (603)
160 - 282 (773)
282 - 498 (465)
498 - 880 (84)
880 - 1554 (7)
1554 - 2743 (1)
*Measured in Days Past Ovulation (DPO).

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Beta Test Update

So I went in at 7:30 this morning, and just got the results.

My hcg beta level was 23.6 as of 7:30 this morning. So.. still doubling, but still low. But still very very hopeful!

We went from 5.2 to 10.4 to 23.6.

They don't want to see me for 8 more days.

I'll probably take a HPT this weekend -- one that only detects 50 or greater.. that might tell us something..

Of course, I can pay 55 bucks to go in any day if I want to.
And I might. :)

Thanks for following. I'm still pregnant!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Deciding to be positive

Ok, so I've decided to be positive.. because why not?

I called my nurse coordinator and told her I wanted to come in for a beta tomorrow. She said, sure, and I'm going in at 7:30 tomorrow morning. She told me that she herself has seen cases of numbers this low getting a lot better.. and she said that maybe the biopsy because of PGD could have slowed the growth. That I can wrap my hands around - there is a potential reason there. So, beta, tomorrow morning and we'll know more.

In the meantime, I'm going to be positive. It has happened before that a live baby has resulted from numbers this low. And it will happen again. It doesn't happen every single time, and yes, the odds are against me. However, hoping it will happen and believing it can happen can't hurt nothen'.. right?

Carlos tells me God is in control of our family-making, and I believe that. I believed it when I saw the first little post-it note he wrote me, but the other two were helpful reminders. :)

Thanks to my resolve group, a woman I've never met sent me an email with a link to a great database of beta values. Looking at that database, I see instances of people in my age group that got numbers this low and also heard a heartbeat later in their pregnancy. Maybe I will add my numbers to this when appropriate and give other women hope.

So, I'm a little pregnant. For now, I am. So i will live in this moment and enjoy that. And if my levels drop, then I will decide what to do next. For now, I will just wait until tomorrow's beta before I think too far into the future.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

the news...

...is not so good..

and there is a really really long story, but i'll just give the short version.

I do have HCG in my blood and it did technically double from Sunday to Tuesday.

However.. the levels are really really low..

my first beta was 5.2 and my second beta was 10.4.

I have heard they should be around 100. People talk about low betas... and they are in the thirties. we're talking single digits here.

I had a very very rough evening and I am now trying to be positive. Theoretically, that we could have a miracle on our hands. And I do believe in miracles. But I'm not holding my breath. And I am not stopping the progesterone either.

I'm a lot better than i was an hour ago. There was lots of screaming and crying. This day was a mess - longer version later, but I went from knowing I was pregnant, to hearing these numbers and knowing I'm not pregnant.

I'm pretty sure it's a chemical pregnancy.

Carlos says the RE wants me to come back and test on Saturday. I said I want to go home this weekend. Or Vegas. Or Hawaii. So, I am going to ask if I can test on Thursday, rather than Saturday. I can't wait that long to get on with my life.

This sucks. Sorry I had to say it.

I still know it's in God's hands, but it sucks.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Tomorrow is the Day!

Well, here we are Monday night. I had my first beta yesterday. As you know, we have no results yet.

And I still have not taken an HPT yet. Carlos does not want me to, and I have not been terribly tempted because we don't have any here at the house. AND, we went grocery shopping tonight, and I would have maybe not been able to resist buying one, but we went to Trader Joe's. They have Mochi ice cream, amazing kettle corn, and 19 cent bananas, but they have no home pregnancy tests.

So, I have to wait until tomorrow. I asked yesterday what time we should expect the lab results from the second beta, and the woman taking my blood really had no idea. I really don't want them to call me at work and want to get out of a meeting to take the call, or have to find a private place to call back and then have to potentially deal with bad news at work. This stresses me out.

So we have a solution. We will tell them to call Carlos and tell him. Don't call me, call him. Then I will not wait for a call at work all day, and Carlos can tell me when I get home. It might be fun for him. Or it will really really suck for him. Either way, I would rather hear the news from him than the clinic.

And I remember fantasizing, uh, well, actually planning how I was going to tell Carlos we were expecting back when we were trying to get pregnant by actually having sexual intercourse. There are lots of cute little very cheesy ways people use to tell their spouses. I probably googled "how to tell your husband you are pregnant" a hundred times. Yes, even before I was even one day late.

Now, he can figure out how to tell me, whatever the news. And google ain't no help. I already checked.

As far as the news, I really have no, no idea. I don't know what it's like to be pregnant, so I don't know if I feel pregnant. I don't even know if I would feel symptoms this early anyway. Another blogger who got a BFP on an HPT described several symptoms, (and I am so so thrilled for her!!) but I don't think I'm feeling any of those. Definitely not feeling nauseous or any pains in my uterus (whatever that would feel like) My breasts might be tender, but honestly I've been wearing a bra 24 hours a day since Day 6 of stims, so I really don't know. I did however, have a horrible bout of constipation, which technically IS a pregnancy symptom. However, it's caused by the the progesterone, and I can't assume my body is making progesterone to support the pregnancy, since I'm putting three doses a day of progesterone inside of me.

And I'm tired sometimes but it's Memorial Day weekend. Not working, shopping all day, and spending time in the sun can do that to a person.

Speaking of Memorial Day, we had a good weekend, and for the most part, I didn't start getting really anxious until today. At church yesterday, I had a really good "It's-all-in-God's-hands" feeling and felt comforted that God would have a reason if it's a negative. I know that God has a plan for us, and He will take care of us no matter what happens.

And I am so thankful for all that we are blessed with. And especially thankful, that all things considered, this has really not been a bad experience so far. The doctors and nursing staff have been wonderful, family and the few friends that know have been amazingly supportive and loving. I have felt real care and concern from wonderful women from all over the internets who have shared comments and nice thoughts. My body responded well to the meds, I didn't have any major side effects, the shots that I freaked out about were not.that.bad.at.all, and oh yeah, we have insurance and some financial resources, and we won't go broke if and when we need to do this all over again. Oh yeah, and I'm thankful for our "embies on ice" that we can use if needed.

So, I'm trying to prepare myself for whatever happens. I've read enough sad, sad blogs to know that anything can happen at any time. And I just want to know what's happening now. With us. With these two little sweet embryos, one boy and one girl that were put inside of me last Monday.

I'll let you all know when I know. Thanks for listening.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Potpourri of Updates - Next Steps and Pregnancy Test

i thought I would use this blog post to update on several things.

1. Frozen Embryos - We froze two on the day of transfer, and two the next day. So, we have 4 totsicles ready if/when we want to do a Frozen Embryo Transfer cycle. we are thrilled with that! We are also thrilled those frozen embryos are CF-free as have alreayd been tested for anueploidy.

2. When do we find out if we are pregnant? Everyone talks about the two week wait. Not to minimize the horrible long wait, because it's hard, hard, hard.. but it's really only like 10 days. The way it works at my clinic is that I go in for a blood test this Sunday. That is called a beta test. They take my blood and freeze it that day. They do not test it and they tell me nothing.

Then I go in on Tuesday, two days later and take another HCG beta blood test. They then test both blood samples at the same time. I'm not actually sure they tell me right then and there or call me later. I gotta find that out.

They are actually testing not just for the presence of HCG, the "pregnancy hormone" but also for the level of HCG. In pregnant women, the level of HCG doubles every 48 hours, so they are looking to confirm the exponential increase.

Honestly, I'm not tempted to take a home pregnancy test... yet. I don't actually own any, and I really don't want to go spend money on them.

However, i'm not sure how i am going to feel on Monday. I don't want a negative result Tuesday morning when I have to go to work, so I don't know. We'll see.

I have a fun weekend planned, so hopefully my mind will be occupied and I won't think about it so much. (Yeah, right.)

I know I owe a post about:
1. more information on PGD
2. the costs of all this.

Feel free to send other questions -- I promise I'll get to them!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Embryo Photos!



Well, here they are! Our embryos!

the one on the left is the male and the one on the right is the female.

If anyone cares, the one on the left is graded 6AA, and the one on the right is 3AA.

The grading system represents three values:

1. Blastocyst development stage - expansion and hatching status
2. Inner cell mass (ICM) score, or quality
3. Trophectoderm (TE) score, or quality

1. The first number refers to the degree of hatching. 6 is fully hatched, and 3 is hatching.

2. The inner cell mass - can be rated A, B, or C. In our case, they were both rated A for "many cells, tightly packed"

3. this one can be A, B or C as well, and A refers to the shell on the outside of the embryo which will become the placenta it has "Many cells, forming a cohesive layer" which gives it an A.

Ok, how's that for your embryology lesson?

Transfer Report

Wow, what a day!

There is so much to write, and I'm finally getting to it. Today was really amazing!

Our appointment was scheduled for 12:30 at the fertility clinic, so I scheduled acupuncture at 11:30. The acupuncture office is less than a block away, so super convenient.

I couldn't sleep so I got up really early and got a lot of work done. I wasn't sure how much I'd be able to do today. (pretty much none, until about an hour ago, so I'm glad I did that. I did a ton of laundry and re-read my day of transfer instructions.

We got the call from RGI about 9:00 am. She gave us all the results of the PGD testing - We already knew they tested one cell from 14 embryos. (I don't think I wrote about how we got from 17 to 14, but we did.)

Anyway, I have all the stats, but basically, she told us that we had 8 embryos that they were recommending for transfer.. which is GREAT NEWS! Of course, we didn't know at that point how many of those would look good or still be dividing.

So... of the 14, 6 either were affected with CF or aneuploidy or only had one chromosome. We had one with Klinefleter's as well. (That's XXY on the sex chromosome.
It was all very very interesting, and she told us we would have the full report at the doctor's office. We were glad we did the anueploidy testing, even though we would not have done it if we weren't already doing PGD. Of course, we probably wouldn't be doing IVF at all, if we weren't doing PGD.

I didn't expect the embryologist to call (usually you just get all the news when you get there) but she did about an hour later and shared that they talked to RGI. One of the eight had arrested (stopped growing). So, we had 7 to choose from.

I went to acupuncture, and it was great and relaxing and nice to see the Dr. that we have gotten to know over the past several weeks - he was very encouraging.

I had been drinking my protein shake all morning, and I couldn't help it, when I got to the doctor's office 10 minutes early, I went to the bathroom. You have to have a full bladder for the transfer, and they had told me to start drinking 10 minutes before I got to the doctor's office, so I figured if I went now, then I could start drinking again. I knew the process of discussing the embryo options and transfer process chat with the doctor would be an hour or so, and I didn't want to be doing the potty dance the whole time.

So, we ended up waiting in the waiting room for like thiry minutes, i'm sipping my water the whole time. They brought be back for blood pressure check and bladder check. I said don't even bother - it's not full yet. Then i decided, why not, just check. I was so happy when she said, oh, you're good. You can stop drinking. I had visions of having this totally full bladder and being so uncomfortable and that was not the case at all.

So, we went and talked to the Doctor and looked at the pictures and asked all kinds of questions. He was so patient with all our questions.

We had great embryos, and ended up picking two to transfer. We picked one that was 6AA and one that was 3AA. The doctor told us they rarely give A grades to embryos. And I told the doctor that we were pretty used to getting As when they were rarely given. (Just kidding.) The first number refers to how far along in hatching the embryos. The 6 was fully hatched, and the 3 was hatching.

We just picked the two we liked the best.. but it does happen to be one boy and one girl. (Carlos was pleased that the boy was a little farther along.)

After we talked to the doctor, we were led to the transfer room by my favorite nurse.

The transfer experience was beautiful.

There were two Lindt Lindor chocolates on the bed - which I thought was a really nice touch. Carlos put in the CD he created for the occasion, and I just relaxed, thanks to the Valium I had taken 10 minutes earlier, and really just a general good, hopeful feeling.

It was just a lovely expereince. The whole thing took 10 minutes -- the nurse had my uterus on the ultrasound, the doctor put the catheter in.. It didn't hurt at all. Then my favorite embryologist comes in and brings the embryos in the inner catheter, which got inserted to the catheter which was already there.. The embryos were released into my uterus. A flash of light appeared on the screen, and it was done.

I rested right there for about 15 minutes, listened to more tracks on the Embryo Transfer CD, got dressed, and went to acupuncture again. By this time it was 3:30. I wasn't starving but was very pleased that Carlos had gone to get me some yummy lunch while i was at acunpuncture. I ate that in the car, while Carlos stopped at Blockbuster to get me two movies. He got Flash of Genius and Bride Wars. I had been wanting to see Flash of Genius and couldn't think of another one, but there was a Bride Wars poster, so I asked for that. I just wanted him to get them quickly so we could get home.

I pretty much slept all afternoon.

What a fantastic day and what a great experience this has been.

Thanks for reading - this was a long one.

Oh yeah, and we froze two today, and we'll see how many we have to freeze tomorrow.

I'll update on that and then also post photos of the embryos!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Biopsy Report

it's 4:30 am the day before transfer, and I'm having trouble sleeping. I finally decided to get up when I remembered that I didn't write yet about our embryos and thier first biopsy!

Wow - just thinking about that makes me pause. My babies are having surgery before they are ever even... implanted! So, when they go fill out an intake form at a new doctor and it has, any surgeries, do they put, "Uh, i got biopsied pre-gestation."

Yeah, proabbly not.

But I digress.

Ok, so yesterday morning, we got the call from a different embryologist, not our normal favorite. But that's okay, I know she has to have a day off sometime. At least it was okay when this Other Woman Embryologist first called.

She says, "Hi This is Nellie from the Lab, and I have a report for you." All 17 of your embryos are dividing and we are getting ready for biopsy this morning. It looks like we will be able to biopsy all 17, so that's great news! We'll call you when it's over and let you know."

At this point, she expected me to say, "Thanks! Bye!"

But, I'm like, Whoa, Nellie! I need more information than that. I gotta have details. I gotta write all this down. I gotta know exactly what happened in case there is a next time! (And at this point, I'm thinking there will definitely be a next time, since we'd like to more than one child.) And I gotta post the details! My two regular readers care. (I love ya'll, by the way!)

So, I ask "How many cells are each of them" and rummage through my purse for a pen and paper and try to put my Blackberry on speakerphone at the same time. While I'm doing that, she had already rattled off the stats and is ready to get off the phone. I'm liking My Embryologist even better at this moment. I slow her down and chicken scratch the following:

1 12-cell
3 9-cell
4 8-cells
3 7-cells
2 6-cells
3 5-cells
1 2-cells
----------
17 cells

I remember from Our Private Egg Class, that they are expected to be 6-8 cells today, so I'm pleased to have a few overacheivers.

But I also remember that they told us that they would biopsy any embryo that was 5 cells or greater. So, of course, I ask about my little slow-growing 2 cell friend. She contradicts her earlier statement, saying

Nellie: We might not biopsy that one, you're right. We'll just have to see.

Me: I'm like See what? (I just want to understand.)

Nellie: Well, if it grows to 5 cells by the time we biopsy.

Me: When are you biopsying?

Nellie: We are getting all set up now, so pretty soon.

Ok, fine, I stop pressing the issue. So probably 16 will get biopsied, and then parts of our embryos will take their first airplane trip to Chicago. Nellie confirmed that the super embryologist has arrived and it will take "a while" to do the biopsy and she will call us "later" with the results of the biopsy.

So, we are happy they are all alive, not all alive and kicking, but hey, we only need one, so we're happy to have extra. We don't know what is going to happen the next few days or with the PGD.

More to come!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Fert Report - 17 embryos and what happens next

My embryologist told me that of the ones that were ICSI'ed, not all of them would necessarily fertilize. Which doesn't really make sense to me because I thought that ICSI was pretty much fertilization. i mean they inject the sperm into the center of the egg. Isn't that fertilization?

I guess you'd have to be a real dud sperm in order to be right there in the middle of the egg and be like "Nah, not today. I'm good."

Happy to report, no dud sperm. The embryologist called to say all 17 fertilized!

So, I guess we now have (as of the last report) 17 embryos!

Today, our embryos are dividing. They should be 2-4 cells today.

edited on 8-1-09 - I just found a scrap of paper that describes the embryos and wanted to document it.

All fertilized 2PN, which means 2 pro-neclei, which is normal fertilization
there were 17 total:
1 12-cell
3 9-cells
4 8-cells
3 7-cells
2 6 cells
3 5 cell
1 2cell
----
17

Tomorrow, the super embryologist will come and do the biopsy. Hopefully by Saturday morning when she comes, the embryos will be 6-8 cells. This embyrologist (also a she) will biopsy any embryo over 5 cells. She will do assisted hatching in order to pull one cell out.

We will get a phone call tomorrow to find out how many are available to be biopsied and then how many were biopsied and then our embryologist will pack up the cells from each of our embryos and send them on a plane to Chicago/RGI for PGD testing.

The shipping fee is like 500 bucks for shipping on a Saturday. They better not get lost on the way.



Thursday, May 14, 2009

Egg Retrival - Full Story

Ok, I guess I'll write the full story now of Egg Retrieval.

So, we got there at 7:30 am, and they led us very quickly to "an area we had never been to before." The nurse said those exact words, like we were going to a dungeon or something. I changed into a gown and gorgeous hair net and was very happy to be allowed to keep my bra on. (I pretty much wear it 24/7 these days, my boobs are so sore.)

Carlos and I both put on booties, and we headed to the holding place before the operating room. The nurse starts to tell me what is going to happen, takes all my vitals (more on that in a minute), and put in the IV (which felt like nothing and sounded like a coke can opening) Then she concludes, "So pretty soon, there will be lots of different people coming in, and you'll get to meet each one and talk to them."

Kind of like a networking event. Except I'm wearing no makeup and a bonnet on my head.

But, she was right. Lots of people came in and talked to us.

The anesthesiologist came in and explained that I was getting MAC anesthesia, not general. That sounded good to me.. Basically he would continue to feed me anesthesia for as long as I needed it (during the retrieval) and then once it stops, I would wake up. Not to spoil the surprise, but he was totally right.

Then the embryologist came in. If you read my earlier post, you know that I already love my embryologist. She is encouraging and sweet and was very excited about the potential for a lot of eggs. The doctor has written 20-30 follicles on the latest ultrasound report, so everyone is excited about that. She reminds me about all the times she will call me and we'll get to talk on the phone and tells me not to hesitate to call anytime. Which I thought was so nice.

My nurse coordinator comes in. She tells me about after retrieval and what to watch out for and generally talks about nurse stuff.

Then the doctor comes in. There are 4 REs at my clinic, and this is the one that I had not spent much time with. He was not happy about my high blood pressure and basically insinuated that if it wasn't lower, he wouldn't be transferring any embryos in me. But this really was in the most loving way possible. He was basically telling me he are taking my high blood pressure very seriously. I promised him I have a prescription (Dr Young gave one to me), and promised him that I will get it filled tonight.

But the conversation continued and he scared me with things like death during child birth or bed rest in early pregnancy, or premature births (and all the associated bad things that go along with that.) i was already weeping and then..

Then, he tells me that he does NOT want me to have multiples.

That's when I pretty much lost it. I had been praying for twins. My whole life I wanted twins.

I told him that I had been praying for twins and he told me to stop. But then he told me that God knows what is best for me, and he hugged me. It was actually very comforting and sweet.

So, I tell him that I would like to transfer two embryos(considering two are available) And he sort of advocates for one, saying if i have one really strong unaffected embryo, he might advise just one. Somewhere during our conversation, I ask him if he is suggesting Selective reduction. He immediately says, no, I am completely against that. That is abortion. So, that and the earlier comment, and I realize that i am dealing with a man of strong faith. And I appreciate that.

Ok, long story short I compose myself enough to be ready for these eggs to get out of me, and honestly, i remember nothing until i am back in the same room and they are giving me Gatorade. I do not remember being wheeled anywhere, putting my feet in stirrups, or anyone saying anything to me. Anesthesia is weird like that.

So, then I recovered for a bit. Everyone came by to congratulate us on our 22 eggs that were retrieved and tell me to eat protein and drink electrolytes. And the doc comes back and asks if he wants to pray together. The doc leads Carlos and me in a nice prayer. It was nice and not weird.

Of course, they make you go to the bathroom before you can leave, so I did and then, I was pretty much ready to go.

So, then I put my clothes on, and got ready to leave. They had Carlos go move the car to get it closer to where I would walk out. But when they opened the curtain where I was changing and found my head on the bed. I had gotten lightheaded and dizzy and needed to lay down again.

I recovered again and was ready to go. I honestly was not in that much pain. They clearly had given me some stuff in my IV that was helping.

We finally leave. They make me leave in a wheelchair, which I think is so weird, but i know it's all about the liability. So, we get in the car, drive about 5 minutes and I throw up A LOT. Not that I had much to throw up, since I hadn't eaten since 9 pm the night before. But there was a lot of Gatorade and fluid in my system, well, now it was in the bag that I took home with my jacket in it. (Yes, I did have time to take the jacket out.)

I made Carlos take me back to the clinic. No one told me I might throw up, and I am not generally a thrower-upper, so I really wanted to know what was happening. They hooked me back up and checked my blood pressure, which was perfect (yeah, because they also put blood pressure meds in my IV, too) and oxygen, which was 100% and let me rest for awhile.

We went home again and then I rested pretty much all afternoon.

Then RGI in Chicago called for our aneuoploidy PGD decision - which I am going to cover in another post.

And then the embryologist called and told us that of the 22 eggs, they got that 17 were mature. And she told me that they were able to successfully ICSI all 17 of them. I congratulated her on her successful ICSIs. I know that some eggs do not survive ICSI. I produced the eggs, but from there, it was all her.

So that is pretty much it.

I'll use the next post to share the "Fert Report" and PGD decisions.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Quick Retrieval report

Hi.

I will post a longer post later about everything that happened, but just wanted to log on and share the egg report.

They told me after the retrieval that they got 22 eggs. We are thrilled with that number and very hopeful.

We really wanted a big number, since we are doing PGD and a Day 5 transfer.

I'll post more later.

It's Showtime for the Follicles and Eggs!

Carlos and I are heading in to the clinic for the retrieval. I'll share a full report when we get home.

I'm nervous.. and excited!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

estradiol

had to post again, because my nurse coordinator just called and told me my estradiol level on monday was 7619!! oh my! i am an estradiol machine!

she had read the notes of my whole saga from early this morning, and was very sweet about it.

i better seriously stock up on electrolytes!

she says that because i only took one shot of ovidrel and not two, i am at less risk for complictions of OHSS.. that's nice.

ok, off to work!

My First Freak-out

So, last night I did the final Lupron shot at 6:30 pm and then the Ovidrel trigger shot at 8:30 pm. A good friend called, so it took me a little longer, but it was in me by 8:40 pm.

the clinic gave me a pregnancy test to take with the first morning urine and told me to call *immediately* if it was negative. Basically pregnancies test measure the level of HCG in urine, and HCG is what the trigger shot is.

So, i woke up this morning at 3:30 am, and I had to go to the bathroom. i tried to let it pass and go back to sleep, but I couldn't. So i found the sterile cup and the instructions and the test and took it. I was shocked when it was negative and i freaked out. I did a quick search of google. Of course, everyone writes about how long the trigger shot stays in your body.. when people take a pregnancy test for real after transfer, they wonder if the positive hcg is just the remnants of the trigger shot. I even found an excel that measure the half-life of HCG.

But then, all I had to find was one post that said no line after trigger shot and NO EGGS. I pretty much lost it.

Carlos encouraged me to call the doctor. The instructions said, "Call Immediately if it's negative." So, of course, i got the medical exchange, who refused to call the doctor for me. the especially refused when I said:

Me: I have an emergency. I took a pregnancy test, and it's negative.

I had to explain the significance of that. they finally got the doctor on call (the really nice female doctor at my clinic) to call me back. She said to test again around 9:00 am. Maybe it hadn't gotten through to my urine yet.

I don't actually own any pregnancy tests. I know, I should have my Infertile membership card taken away. But I stopped buying them because I think they are crack.

So, Carlos was going to run to Wal-mart to buy them.

Well, in the meantime before the doc called me back, I called Fertility LifeLines. Does everyone know about fertility Lifelines? I freaking LOVE them. They are nurses available for 24-hour support. So, I called and got to speak to a nurse who was luckily in eastern time zone, so wide awake. She explained that, yes, it really should have made it to my urine by now. and calmed me down very effectively. I told her how i did the shot, which of course, was totally in vain, because i am a total pro by now, and of course i did it right.

Anyway, i walk back towards the bathroom, and Magically another very very faint barely-there line appeared on the stick below the first one. I was over the moon and also felt kinda dumb.

I was asleep about 10 minutes later.

Now I'm awake and ready for my last day before retrieval. Any advice for day-before-retrieval? My clothes are so tight already, and I just heard i might gain weight AFTER egg retrieval. I love when things completely defy logic. I gained weight because i am growing a circus in my uterus, and when they them out, i gain more weight? This rocks.

Of course, I'll deal with whatever I'm dealt; I just thought it was interesting.

good wishes to by cycle sister, Brenna!

TDAP

HI - I've actually had a few people ask me about TDAP.. so I thought I'd share.

The TDAP is a vaccination that covers tetanus, diptheira, and pertussis. The CDC recommends that people get it if they are going to be around infants. (I hope to be around my own infant in the relatively near future, so that includes me.

Here's the copy-paste from the website:

The second bullet applies to me. I bet they do it in the hospital if you haven't had it before you take your baby home.

if you can get this shot before, I recommend it. I'll warn you something that no one told me.. it hurts like HE-double hockey sticks in the arm.. For.Like.Three.Days. Seriously. I had no idea. I guess it hurts like a tetanus shot, but I don't think I've ever had one.

Anyway, the nurse coordinator was like, ok, you got yout TDAP shot? Did they give you any sheet that I can put in your file? Carlos is like, I can vouch for it. She got it. I hear about it, like every hour.

It's true. I was quite the big baby about my arm hurting. well, and also my boobs were sore and my tummy was hurting too. Have I mentioned that?
  • To prevent spread of pertussis among infants: Adults who have or who anticipate having close contact with an infant <1>
  • Prior to pregnancy: Any woman of childbearing age who might become pregnant is encouraged to receive a single dose of Tdap if she has not previously received Tdap.
  • Immediately Post-partum: Tdap is recommended for women, including those who are breastfeeding, if they have not previously received Tdap. The postpartum Tdap should be administered before discharge from the hospital or birthing center or as soon as feasible.


http://www.systoc.com/newscomments/news/Jan2007/Tdap.asp

Monday, May 11, 2009

Monday morning update

So, I just went for my final ultrasound before the retrieval... The doc says he saw 12-15 follicles on the right and about the same number on the left. Not all of them are mature and not all of them will fertilize, but I had to ask his estimate of how many eggs we will have.

He said he thinks about 18 or so. We are sooo off the charts excited! We need a lot of eggs since we are doing PGD.

I have had a lot of symptons the past couple of days.. major sore boobs and sore abdomen, too. Oh yeah, and my arm is still VERY SORE from the TDAP shot. I am not hearing too much about the TDAP shot on other IVF blogs. Did anyone else have to do this? Or is everyone else super strong and just doesn't complain about it?

Anyway, two days of work, then I'm off Monday.

I take Lupron at 6:30 pm and then the Ovidrel trigger shot at 8:30 pm.

Then we report Wednesday at 7:30 am.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Saturday appointment update

I'm writing the update from Saturday's appointment..

So, we went in early Saturday morning for the ultrasound and blood test. It was nice that Carlos was able to be there with me because he was out of town for Tuesday and Thursday appointments.

So, on Thursday, the follicles were about 10 mm. and Saturday, they were about 14. Which is totally normal, they grow about 2 mm per day. So I was a bit surprised when the Doc said that they think the retrieval will be Wednesday, rather than Tuesday. My husband and I had both changed things around at work to be Tuesday, rather than Monday. And now that means the transfer will be Monday, rather than Saturday... which means I need to take off three days of work, instead of one.

Of course, I'll do whatever it takes, but all these changes have been a good reminder that we are not in control.

So, then after changing the date, we had to go pick up more Menopur, because of course, we ran out. Then we got a call that the Doctor wants to change our meds based on my estradiol level. My estradiol level was 4730. So, he told me to change to 225 units of Gonal-F instead of 300.

Ok, that's the update. I might write the Mother's Day update. Or i might not.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Friday update - TDAP and acupuncture

Ok, if you missed the Thursday update, read the post two below. This is the update from Thursday.

So, I had an appointment with a family practice doctor to get a TDAP immunization. My fertility clinic wants all patients to get one, as the CDC recommends that all primary caregivers are immunized to protect newborns. i like that we are thinking positive, that there will be a newborn soon!

However, no one told me that the TDAP shot would Hurt.Like.Hell. Seriously, i had no idea. I am so good at shots now, i thought it woudl be like those. Which, seriously, I want non-infertiles to think I'm going through hell with these shots, but I know I can't lie. they really are no big deal. But this shot was like an 8 inch needle and it hurt going in and it hurts now. I asked Carlos if he had a tetanus shot before and if he remembered it hurt, ever afterwards. He tells me, "Yes, babe. it will hurt for like two days. Feels like someone punched you in the arm." Nice. he's right. that is exactly what it feels like. and it's really nice to have my feelings validated.

So this is the best part. All i really needed was the TDAP shot, but the appointment took forever. I went to a new doctor, because well i recently moved, and I really don't have a general practitional. I got an OB/GYN, really, only to get a referrral to the fertility clinic, and i have a team of doctors at the fertility clinic, but i don't have a GP. So i really just called whoever I could get into to get this immunization. Turns out i made an appointment with a group of RESIDENT family practice doctors.

So my resident was like super thorough and took forever. oh yeah, and she was, i think 25 years old. ok, MAYBE 26, but she definitley had not seen this side of 30. that's fine, we all need to learn, but i defintiely realized something abotu myself. I am a bit ageist when it comes to doctors. I woudl really rather they be older than me. I realize as i get older, that will be harder and harder. but i'm sure i'll get over it as i get older.

so, this annoyance with her age probably comes from the comment she said to me.

So, I wrote on my intake form, in the same called, what are you here for? I wrote.. TDAP for preconception.

She reads that and here's the conversation:

Hi. I'm Doctor Young.

Me: HI.

Doctor Young: So, TDAP for preconcption. That's great. Are you pregnant?

Me: No. I'm doing IVF next week. (Thinking, did they teach you the prefix "pre" in medical school, but being very nice at this point.)

DY: That's great. Have you already gotten your donor eggs and everything?

Me: Uh.. (rather shocked, donor eggs are fabulous, but i'm not using them. Is she making a judgment on my age?? I'm about to get defensive. And after defensive comes bitchy. It's a short trip, actually.) I'm using my own eggs, actually. My eggs and my husband's sperm. We're fine. We're doing IVF to not pass on a genetic disease to our kids.

So, anyway, the rest of the appointment went fine, but i probably won't volunteer to see her again. Could she just not know that IVF typically happens with a woman's own eggs? Whatever. I think donor eggs are wonderful, and I am totally up for using them if my eggs turn out to be not good enough. But i'm 35.. the assumption at this point is that we're good. I know i got defensive. Of course, we weren't getting pregnant, which is why we found out we were CF carriers in the first place, but i still feel like we are fine, except for that one small thing.

So, anyway, I really don't think i look that old. but i've never been all interested in looking younger anyway. Actually in my line of work, I want to look older, more experienced for my cleints.

Whatever, i'm over it.

I went to Acupuncture and then picked up Carlos from the airport.

We watched American Idol from this week, (so happy about my little hottie Kris Allen - safe) did my shots, and fell asleep on the couch. I got up to write this and now, i'll wake him up to go to bed. He did my shots tonight. It was nice to be able to be lazy and let him take care of me.

More tomorrow.. thanks for reading.

Oh yeah, i called today for my esradiol results. Yesterday they were 2374. That's good. Yay!

Update - Thursday Ultrasound Follicle Report

wow - I have not been good at updating the past couple of days. I'll do one post about today and one about yesterday..

Starting with Thursday..

I had my appointment early Thursday morning. I think I'm just doing estradiol blood test and ultrasound, but the nurse says, "I need four things from you today!" in this really excited voice.

1. First was my weight. Of course, that was easy, but i told her to add twenty pounds before she wrote it down. I know what it's for -- my weight will determine how much anesthesia I get, and i have this completely irrational fear of gettting too much and never, ever, waking up. I've never had real anesthesia before. I had a colonoscopy, but that was not administered my an anesthesiologist, so i know it wasn't that serious. And this time, ther ewill be a real anesthesiologist. So, anyway, that was that.

2. Finger prick blood test for.. i can't remember what. I used to ask and care and really.need.to.know.. but whatever sure, take my blood. Arm, finger, whatever.

3. Urine Sample. Might have been nice if I have advanced warning of this, but whatever.

4. Estradiol Blood Test. More on the results in a bit.

Ok, then I went in to the ultrasound. He found 12 follicles on the right side and 8-10 on the left. I was absolutely ecstatic. Seriously, I started crying right there on the table. I really need A LOT eggs since we are doing PGD and Day 5 transfer. The doc did not acknowledge my weeping at all, and pretty much said 2 sentences. "I think your retrival will be Tuesday. We'll see you back in Saturday for another ultrasound to monitor." That's all I really needed to know, so I went to work.

So, retrival got changed to Tuesday - it was gonna be Monday. I didn't like that so much, but i can at explain it. All this infertility stuff is hard because some of it is clearly unexplainable, but I have a definite need to understand everything.. cause and effect, logical reason for something happening.. I know i gotta get over this. But, here's my idea. I do my shots at night - abotu 9 - 10 pm.. So, we originally thought Monday, since some people do their shots early, like 7 am. But i do mine a full 13 hours later than perhaps expected, so there you go..

I go in tomorrow (well, as I right this, it's already past midnight, so later today) at 8 am, so if my follicles have grown really fast, then maybe things will change.

Anyway, my follicles were 10 units. I think it's mm they are measured in, but I'm really not sure. Anyway, most of them were 10 something. They are supposed to be 18 whatever before we retrive them, so we need them to grow.

I did my shots Thursday night - got really cocky and screwed up the meonopure. I had to throw out one day's dose, so hopefully if i need more, they will be able ot give me one little bottle when i go in tomorrow.

that's about it.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Night Before First Ultrasound

I really don't have much to say tonight, but i'm on a roll posting each night.. so I'll just say that I did my shots, they are so no big deal now..

I'm nervous and excited for my appointment tomorrow morning 7:45 am. I'm eager to find out more about my follicles and the next steps.

I think I might try the fertility meditation tonight. I will probably fall asleep, but hey.. I'll try.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Estradiol Test and Shot Update

So tonight..the shots were So.No.Big.Deal. I mean seriously. I am getting so cocky with this shot thing, I did the Gonal-F standing up. I was like, whatever, I can do this. I don't even need to lay down. (Or is it lie down? I am seriously a grammar and spelling snob, so i should probably look that up before I publish this, but whatever, you guys know what I mean, right?) Anyway, I think it was record timing. I was done in like 5 minutes. It's actually kinda fun. And I totally did the Menopur right without having to call Carlos. Last night, I screwed up, and couldn't seem to get the water in there to mix. User error, of course.

Anyway, back to tonight. It was easy. I even had my strawberries and Fat Free Cool Whip treat before I did it, because I don't even need that to motivate me anymore.

Did I tell ya'll that Carlos was going to hire me a nurse to come here every night and give me my shots, because we were just THAT worried about it? Not kidding. And we are totally thrifty and frugal people.. and I was all for it. I'm like, let's spend whatever, there is NO WAY i'm giving shots to myself. And look at me now, I'm doing it standing up.

Enough of that. Back to this morning's appointment. So, I got my blood taken to check for estradiol levels. Keep reading for the results, I'm telling the story in order. As if anyone cares about my results. Anyway, so then I meet with the nurse coordinator. I have my little list o'questions. First question: I told her my sharps box was totally full and busting at the seams and what do I do? I really thought she would say, bring it in, we can empty it here. But she said, "oh, I'll get you another one and promptly disapperas, reappearing moments later with a shiny new sharps box.

I'm thinking, so what do I do with the old one, keep it, like, forever? Like put it on top of my closet and then when my little girl is 14 and being a major brat, and telling me she hates me and i'm the worst mother in the world (because I'm not stupid. I know it will happen. ) Carlos goes and gets the sharps box and says, do you know what your mother went through to have you? now go apologize to your mother and then go to your room.

At first, I wrote that story like I go get the sharps box, but I think I like it better this way. And he would totally do that for me, I'm sure.

Ok, back to the present. So I get a sharps box, and then she hands me a brown paper lunch sack and tells me it's a pregnancy kit. Then she tells me it's Not that Kind. Hmmm.. is there more than one kind of Pregnancy? Ok, I get it, it's a pregnancy TEST. But not to test if I am pregnant. Yeah, yeah, I know, test to make sure the Ovidrel trigger shot worked, since pregnancy tests test HCG levels, and that's also what the trigger shot does, more or less. Ok, so I got a pregnancy test, and I will find out when to use it on Thursday.

(By the way, I know, I'm such a first-timer, newbie at all of this, and this must be painful to read for you folks that have been through this before, but I want to remember all these details, so thanks for bearing with me.)

So, since I wa getting all these gifts, I thought I'd ask for some prenatal vitamin samples. I'm out and well, hey, it saves me a trip to the store, and like 20 bucks, so right on. I'm cool. Got some samples. Like a month worth. Loves it.

So, then of course, I tell her about Carlos being in Vegas and me doing my shots, and for some reason I decided to show her my little bruises. I pull up my shirt and show her. Then I confirm, "I'm supposed to vary the places, right?" A circle around my belly button? And she says, "Actually you can just do below your belly buttom, since you have more fat there. I take that in the best possible way. I do have more fat there. It's cool.

So, that's pretty much that apointment. I go to work and wait for the call.

She calls and says estradiol level is 732. At least I think. I was walking to a meeting and didn't have a pen, but it was something like that. She said, it's good. Not too high, not too low. So keep doing what you are doing, and we'll see you Thursday. Ok, will do.

I think that's about it. Stay tuned for the next exciting installment.

Two Down - Two to Go

Woo Hoo.. I did it.. the second day of shots without Carlos.

Wow - I could seriously be a junkie. these shots are really no big deal. I am more anxious about mixing them than about sticking myself. I'm so serious. I cannot tell you how many times I have fainted at nothing more than the mention of a needle. I faint when I get my blood taken - seriously - about 60 percent of the time - STILL... even after all the infertility blood tests.. For years, I have had a "needle reaction" and gone to great lengths to distract myself from the needles, bring my husband to simple lab appointments and required that i be lying down, have a heating pad, whatever.. and look at me, I'm giving shots to myself! Three of them! Every night!

Turns out -- the fainting.. I've decided - it's an uncontrollable psychosomatic anxiety reflex.. I fainted during my HSG, I fainted during my first ultrasound .. I fainted because I didn't know what to expect.. but these shots, I know what to expect.. I just do them, and it's over. It's no big deal..

Ok, bad news though. I discovered I wasn't immune from the hormonal side effects -- we discovered that last night when i cried for no reason.. oh yeah and I cried again, just telling my mom the story. well, I'm also not immune to the bruising. I'm bruising a bit on my stomach. That's okay, I guess, comes with the territory.

Ok, so tomorow morning I have my estradiol blood test. So, I need to research what I should be expecting for my estradiol levels. And I need to catch up on some blogs.. I'm thinking about you guys and wondering the latest.. gonna go find out now.

Tomorrow, I probbaly won't even talk about the shots, I promise. It will be like, Yeah I did it. Whatever..

Sunday, May 3, 2009

I did it - Day One of IVF Shots By Myself

Wow - I honestly cannot believe I did it.

I spent almost the entire day reading infertility blogs and waiting for 9 pm to come around. After the "dry run" with Carlos last night, I knew I could probably maybe do it. (How's that for confidence?) I called several friends to catch up during the day, but didn't get to talk to a few of them and generally spent the day alone. But I really was enjoying myself. And didn't feel particularly lonely. especially since Carlos just left several hours ago.

So, when I got a call from a good friend (and a former infertile) that I had NOT called, and I started crying as soon as she said hello, we both wondered what was wrong with me. I said, through the tears, "Thank you for calling. I'm just so happy that you called." I will blame it on the hormones, even though I hadn't been feeling them up until that point.

Once I stopped blubbering, we had a great conversation.. and then we actually talked up until it was time to do the meds, so I put her on speakerphone, and she was there for me while I did my three shots. And was the voice of reason when I had a little mishap. The needle was in my skin, but the plunger was not going in. "It's not working," I said. It won't push down." She calmly said, "OK, take the needle out of your skin and draw back some air and then try to move the plunger again." Of course, that worked, so who knows why it wasn't working the first time. Hmmmm.. user error, perhaps? User anxiety? Most definitley.

So, I did them all, one by one, and then cleaned up after myself. I didn't realized there was so much pre-cleaning and post cleaning involved. Carlos has been doing everything. while I get to lay there. (I do my shots laying down. My freind said, "Are you kidding? I did them in the bathroom mirror at work." Okay, so I'm a baby, I admit it. However, I am a baby who did her shots by herself tonight. Take that.

So, now I am going to have some tea and watch Desperate Housewives.

Meeting the Embryologist

So, on Friday, we got to have our own private Egg Class with the embryologist. We really really like her. She is the director of the Embryology Lab and so nice. The more I read, the more I think the embryologist job is the most important job in all of this. She is basically in charge of keeping our embryos alive for 5 days! I asked her if she would be willing to be our embryologist and be there for the transfer and she said that she would be honored.

I felt so much better after meeting her. I really wanted to understand the whole process, how they keep them safe and nurtured, and keep track of which one is which (which is especially important since we are doing PGD) and I also wanted to understand how they grade them and what kinds of decisions we will need to make at which times. She explained all that and more. Then I went to the acupuncturist afterwards and told him about meeting her. The TCM doctor said that she is one of his favorite people and possibly one of the best embryologists in the country! I think our little future babies are in good hands.

The Shots

So, part of the reason I’m starting this blog is Carlos had to go on a business trip this week.
He has been doing my stimulation shots the past three days. (I started last Thursday.) So last night, he was still here, but I did the shots myself with his coaching and supervision. Tonight and all week, I have to do it myself. So I figured I would update the blog each night after I do my shots as a way to hold myself accountable that I do them.

One of my biggest fears is that I will screw up my meds and then have to cancel the cycle. It reminds me of our honeymoon when we went scuba diving. The fist time we went scuba diving, Carlos and I took the class, got all suited up, and we went down in the water together. Carlos was ahead of me – he passed the “skills test” in the water and went further down the rope. I messed up the skills test several times, and my anxiety level rose. Then I finally got them all correct, the instructor was excited, and we started heading down. However, by that time, I was already freaked out because of messing up the skills, that I decided I wanted to go back up. The photographer took me back up and then went back down to take photos of Carlos. My anxiety level had just risen, and I freaked out.

Then like hours later, we were relaxing on the boat on the way back to the shore, and they handed me a refund check for the amount of the scuba trip. I was so excited! (I’m sure I’ll reveal on this blog that I’m very frugal, and I love saving money.)

So anyway, I was sad about not going scuba diving, but I felt better that I got my money back. I will make a point here at some point. However, I don’t think the IVF works this way. If I screw up my meds, there are no refunds for all the medical services, meds, ultrasounds, blood tests, I have already done. So, I really really want to not screw up my meds. And not just because of the money or because I regret not going scuba diving. Because really I don’t. But I do want a baby very badly. And doing these shots is part of that process.

Our Story

So it seems every blog starts off with a story of the person or couple and their history of Infertility and all that. Lately I’ve been reading way too many of these, and I cry every single time. So I decided to write my own blog. Maybe writing my own will give me some purpose to my information surfing. Also, I will also get the support that I have decided I really need. Very few of our friends know we are going through this. And we are also physically away from friends and family right now.

So, I’m 35 and DH is 34. For the purposes of this blog, we are Gabby and Carlos. We’ve been married since early 2008. Obviously, we didn’t try for years and years before we started seeing doctors. Initially, we had some very mild male factor, which improved through surgery for Carlos, vitamins and Carlos's weight loss. Subsequent tests confirmed great SA numbers. But, we wanted to get on with all the tests for me and go ahead with ART due to my age.

After the tests indicated unexplained infertility, the RE determined that we were great candidates for IUI. So we had some quick pre-IUI blood tests.. and we got the bombshell news that we are both carriers for Cystic Fibrosis.

Carlos and I both have the same gene mutation that causes Cystic Fibrosis. So, we have a one-in-four chance of conceiving a child with Cystic Fibrosis. Wow. What are the odds? Well, for people of European descent, one in 40 are carriers for CF. So for us to have found each other, if my math is correct, there is about a 1 in 1600 chance that happening.. of both spouses to be carriers.

Being a carrier is So. No.Big Deal. Clearly Carlos and I have had no effects and never will. CF is a recessive disease, and both spouses have to pass the “bad” gene in order for our offspring to get it. So, when the doctor shares this news with me, he also tells me about IVF with PGD (pre-implantation genetic diagnosis), which is the route we are taking.

We’ve been through several things already, genetic counseling, meeting with the RGI lab in Chicago, who will be doing our CF PGD testing, appointments galore, hysteroscopy, baseline ultrasound, etc, so I am going to have these fist few posts play catch up.

Thanks a lot for reading our story. I'm also happy to answer any questions at adenturesinglass at gmail.com.

Trial Post

This is a trial post to confirm that everything works.