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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

starting to like this - full cirlce

Ok, I didn't admit it before.. but I didn't really *like* being pregnant for the first 19 weeks. It was really tough for me to admit, because I felt like I should LOVE this.. everyone loves being pregnant. I wanted so bad to be pregnant, why wasn't I soo happy to be pregnant?

OF COURSE, I loved that I was expecting. I loved knowing that two babies were coming. I loved ultrasounds and reading books about the babies and my pregnancy. But I did not like that my clothes didn't fit, that I didn't look pregnant, and that I was so so so tired all the time. Oh yeah, and that I didn't really know what I could eat and couldn't eat. and I was constantly calling my husband and asking him. And there was all the work questions about what to do/who to tell, etc. (Yes, I realized I was whining here.)

However, all that changed when I started showing. I mean, really really showing. Between December 20th and January 4th, I gained 10 pounds. 10 pounds in 13 days. Pretty impressive, huh? Since I'd only really gained about 8 pounds the entire pregnancy up to that point, I'm not too worried about too much weight gain. I'll tell the doc about it on Thursday, though.

But now, there is no hiding it at all. I have a major baby bump. Everyone notices. And that is fun. Carlos rubs my belly every morning and says, "How are my babies?"

I've figured out what I can eat. The fatigue is over. I love being pregnant now. I'd like to stay pregnant for many many more weeks.

Anything anyone else wants to admit or confess? Maybe someone will tell you how it will change and you will feel better. I wish I told ya'll earlier, I'm sure someone would have told me just to wait, it will get better.


sophia said...

Oh yeah. I totally would have told you that it will get better. Remember going shopping with me to that fancypants maternity store when I was 20ish weeks and not really showing so much? That was such a surreal day! I kept thinking I'd never be big enough to need those clothes and actually asked the woman why I'd need a nursing bra to sleep in. Totally normal in my book, friend!

Our Journey... said...

yep, the first trimester was really hard for me. And then there was the weird stage of not showing but not fitting into clothes that was really hard. The second trimester was great for me though and honestly the 3rd is going pretty well also! Hopefully you'll enjoy it from here on out, even with the not so fun parts of it towards the end : )

MissMVK said...

Hi! Thanks for delurking on my blog. :) It is so fun to find all my readers and now get to read their blogs in return. If you've been a reader for awhile, you know that I have had a rough pregnancy this time around. Twins are hard. Twins can make you really really sick not to mention uncomfortable! I just reached the uncomfortable place about a week ago, but WOW is all I can say. I loved being pregnant with Piglet and had high hopes for this time around, but it's hard between all the pill popping to stop the puke and chasing a toddler. So there it is, my confession. I just got through my third puke-free day in six months. MONTHS.

Hoping we this lasts for both of us!

Beautiful Mess said...

When I was pregnant with Nae, it was HORRIBLE! I was miserable and would bawl my eyes out because I felt I was being so ungrateful. Then my doc told me that pregnancy is HARD on a woman's body and to not stress about it. Once I "came out of the closet" and admitted to not loving being pregnant, I was much happier. We all have our good days and bad days, pregnant woman included. 'm glad that you're enjoying it now though! I wish you nothing but THE best for the next few months! Cook babies COOK!

Brenna said...

Unfortunately I can't relate to the slow weight gain...I'm a nervous eater and was stuffing my face a bit *too* freely in the early days of this pregnancy! Fortunately that's slowed down for me, as has the weight gain. My only issue is looking like I'm carrying multiples again when it's only one! ;) I'm glad you're enjoying your pregnancy and will be sending all kinds of good thoughts in your direction that things continue to go smoothly.

Anonymous said...

Yippee! I am so glad you are feeling better and showing. That is fun! Do you have names yet or ar eyou still in debate? Happy New Year.


Dandle Dreams said...

It sounds like everything is going really well with you and your twins. I hope that you are feeling brave enough to rock your bump with pride.

Anonymous said...

I had a love/hate relationship with pregnancy with the triplets. I was disgusting and miserable for most of it. I couldn't take a deep breath, I couldn't walk without being in pain. I didn't look pregnant, just fat (that obviously changed eventually), I was throwing up (until 31 weeks - I delivered two weeks later). I was petrified at all times that I would go into labor and lose the babies that I had fought so hard for.

But I still loved that I *was* pregnant and carrying my babies. I loved the *idea* of it. I got very little fawning over b/c I was on bedrest by the time I was really showing, and I never got to go to a baby store and pick out things for a registry or any of that, but I had three little lives growing inside of me.

I thought it was a triplet thing, but now I'm pregnant with just one - and pregnancy is at least as miserable this time, if not more. Do I love that I'm growing a whole human? Absolutely. Do I love pregnancy itself? Definitely not. In fact, I hate it so much that I can, finally, say I'm never doing this again on purpose. I love the baby inside me, but I hate what s/he is doing to me.

You don't have to love pregnancy just because it was hard to achieve. You don't have to love pregnancy in order to love your babies in a few months. You don't have to love pregnancy to be a good mother. You will be an exceptional mother no matter what.

I'm so glad it's gotten better for you and that you feel better and are enjoying pregnancy - everyone ought to get to enjoy at least parts of pregnancy.

(I am, however, sorry about all the pain you're in - I hope the surgeon is able to help you!!)