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Friday, August 21, 2009

does being positive matter?

Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all The Secret on you. But, lately I’ve been thinking about this a lot. .. the whole “power of positive thinking” thing. I usually see the good in things, I believe things happen for a reason, and I see the world in a positive light.

You know... meditation, reduction of stress level, honoring your body and making a good home in your heart for the embryos… I mean, specifically post-transfer and before beta results.. does anything you do, uh, emotionally, mentally, make any difference at all in getting pregnant?

So, like during my two week wait (which is so not two weeks, it’s like 6 days in my case. I mean, I am so peeing on a stick in 6 days.) Will it help if during bed rest, I do some meditation and specifically think on the embryos placed inside of me, and like honor them and love them and sit still and like smile on them. Does that help? What if I say Namaste to every one I see?

Because I didn’t do that last time. I mean, do I need to do the breathing exercises like that woman with the way-too-soothing voice Anji. If I do, will that help? If I don’t, will I wish I did?

I mean, last time, I pretty much just laid on the couch, watched TV, and read blogs. I did pray. I do believe in that.

So.. back to the the blogs I read last time.. Speaking of blogs, during my bed rest and six-day-wait last time, I read blogs that made me cry.. So, was that sadness and crying not good for the embryos? I mean, did I create a sad home for these embryos, and was my heart, sad because of sad blogs, not open to the embryos? Did I create an unhappy place for the embryos, who as a result, needed to leave my body?

Should I only read happy blogs during the not-really-two-week-wait?

Science tells us that stress increases the cortisol hormones and other neurochemicals and can restrict blood flow (which is in general, a bad thing) It's not very debated that there *is* a mind-body connection. That is believed by even non-New Agey people. But I’m trying to translate that into practical things I should and should not do or think during those six days.

.. so crying over other blogs, is that stress? And is it going to restrict blood flow? If so, not good. I need the blood a flowin’. Not AF. Just general good blood flowing around, making the embroyos implant and grow.

OK, and if I get crazy and don’t read the sad blogs, and I am so positive that I got pregnant, when do I start reading the sad blogs again? I gotta read the sad blogs. So do I just need to read two happy blogs for every sad blog? I can do that. It might require me to cut back on work, but anything to get a healthy baby, right?

For the record, we believe in prayer, and we believe in the power of miracles, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about meditation, focusing specifically on positive thoughts, thinking purposely for a long period of time about your embryos, avoiding any stress or sadness, taking time to honor your embryos in some special metaphysical way, all that stuff.. do you do that? Does it work?

Oh, yeah, and welcome ICLW'ers. I will post an intro to my blog tomorrow. Promise. Had to get this off my pre-transfer chest.


Michele said...

Just my opinion... I think that grief and crying is natural and not stress inducing. It is a relief. I cry daily still and I tell the babies that I am not crying because I dont love them or because of them, that I am crying because I miss their brothers and sister. But I think positive thinking can help, even if the situation doesnt end the way we like. I mean, God knows I prayed for every pregnancy that it would go full term. I dont think that I didnt just "pray enough" or "think positively enough" for them to have healthy outcomes. But right now, every single day I just keep having positive talks with my body. It doesnt mean that I dont have my bad moments where I curse my cervix, but overall, I just tell my body that it CAN do this. That the babies are healthy. That they are fine.
I truly believe that telling the babies they are healthy and that they would exceed their growth prediction did help. I havent gained a huge amount of weight and yet our babies are bigger than their singleton counterparts. I believe that telling them to eat and be nourished, etc has helped. But that is just me...

Good luck, Gabby! I am so excited for you and crossing my fingers!

Pie said...

Honestly, as long as it isn't gut-wrenching, heaving, bawling, cry-so-hard-you're-choking crying, I don't think it matters. And that's more about the physical act of crying, not the blood flow or whatever. I did all the positive visualization, positive thinking during my first IVF, and still got BFN. Did less of it, just lived my life, the second time around, and still BFN. So I'm not sure it matters to the embies. But I think whatever gets you through a 2WW (or 6 day wait) with a shred of your sanity intact is worthwhile.

Anonymous said...

For IVF #1 I was so sure that it was going to work - BFN
On IVF #2, things looked worse during the stims and retrieval so I was sure it wasn't going to work, and even told everyone that it was going to fail - BFP!!! It's still early now (5w1d) and a big part of me still believes that we will probably not make it, but I don't believe that positive thinking matters one way or another. I'd rather expect the worse and be pleasantly surprised.

Beautiful Mess said...


I think it's ok to read the sad blogs, but not TAKE the sadness with you when you click away. Don't make their sadness yours. Same goes with the happy blogs. It's great to rejoice or lament over the news, but it shouldn't be YOUR news.

Your news should be yours. You can talk to your embies and tell them that you love them. Tell them to stick around for a LONG while. I do believe in positive thinking, too. Whatever helps you get through the day with a smile on your face! Sending you SO much good JUJU!

Anonymous said...

Sending you positive energy and not in a "The Secret" way either. You just do whatever makes you content. And if that includes reading sad blogs that cause a few tears, so be it! Crying is a stress reliever in my book so go to town!! You may want to steer clear of my blog for your 6 days...I am just too hostile and complainy about everything right now. Of course, if you read and laugh at the insanity of the stuff we get into...tune in. There may be something worth laughing at!

Have a peaceful 6 days! I'll be checking for the happy outcome so, post it immediately, please.

STC said...

good luck gabby! i think you just need to "be" sometimes and let your body and mind do wheat they need and go where they go...

Niki said...

I'm probably the last person you want weighing in on this question, but you asked so here goes ... I do NOT think that thinking positively or negatively will change the outcome of what is going to happen. If positive thinking aided in good things happening, then my sweet Myles would've survived. I think that things happen because they are going to happen ... chance (and a number of other variables) has a lot to do with the outcome of IVF cycles. So, I say read all the sad blogs you want.

Now with that said I should tell you that I DO think positive thinking does a lot of good for your mind and body. Although it may not change your future, it will make the present much more enjoyable!

The Unproductive One said...

I have to say that I've done the whole thinking positive thing and it got me no where.

Now I just go with what I feel when I feel it and let it be. If I'm feeling it, then it's completely natural and who am I to work against my feelings?

If it makes YOU feel better to only focus on the positive then by all means do it but because YOU want to not because of something you've read in a book or been told.

As for The Secret, that book is a coaster on my table for putting coffee cups on, some believe in it and thats great, I personally think it's written by people who don't really know what they're talking about.


Cassandra said...

This was the theme of a Thoughtful Thursday earlier this year.

At the time, I knew that all of my hopeful cycles hadn't worked out, but I didn't know that the next cycle after that post, the one I knew absolutely wouldn't work, would turn out to be the one that finally did work.

Not that I think my hopelessness was what did the trick.

I do think that staying away from stress is a good thing, and that it is more pleasant to be hopeful than hopeless. But I certainly don't think you should beat yourself up if doubt enters your mind, and that you should do what makes you happy during the wait.

Good luck!!!

Sara said...

I had the WORST attitude during the one (out of three) cycles in which I got pregnant. I don' really think that attitude has anything to do with it. Having a good attitude might make you happier while you wait, though. Good luck!