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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Two Down - Two to Go

Woo Hoo.. I did it.. the second day of shots without Carlos.

Wow - I could seriously be a junkie. these shots are really no big deal. I am more anxious about mixing them than about sticking myself. I'm so serious. I cannot tell you how many times I have fainted at nothing more than the mention of a needle. I faint when I get my blood taken - seriously - about 60 percent of the time - STILL... even after all the infertility blood tests.. For years, I have had a "needle reaction" and gone to great lengths to distract myself from the needles, bring my husband to simple lab appointments and required that i be lying down, have a heating pad, whatever.. and look at me, I'm giving shots to myself! Three of them! Every night!

Turns out -- the fainting.. I've decided - it's an uncontrollable psychosomatic anxiety reflex.. I fainted during my HSG, I fainted during my first ultrasound .. I fainted because I didn't know what to expect.. but these shots, I know what to expect.. I just do them, and it's over. It's no big deal..

Ok, bad news though. I discovered I wasn't immune from the hormonal side effects -- we discovered that last night when i cried for no reason.. oh yeah and I cried again, just telling my mom the story. well, I'm also not immune to the bruising. I'm bruising a bit on my stomach. That's okay, I guess, comes with the territory.

Ok, so tomorow morning I have my estradiol blood test. So, I need to research what I should be expecting for my estradiol levels. And I need to catch up on some blogs.. I'm thinking about you guys and wondering the latest.. gonna go find out now.

Tomorrow, I probbaly won't even talk about the shots, I promise. It will be like, Yeah I did it. Whatever..


Dena said...

You are hilarious. I can totally relate though. I pass out all of the time...have gotten much better through this journey but STILL have to lay down every time I give blood. It's pretty sad : )

sophia said...

Thinking good thoughts for the estradiol test this morning. So glad round 2 of the shots went well.

Michele said...

I'm so glad the shots are a hurdle you've gotten over! That's awesome! If it makes you feel better, I used to have a major anxiety attack with needles. Now, they aren't that bad. I can even watch them stick me. After fertility treatment after treatment, I guess my desire got the best of my anxiety!

Anonymous said...

Hi Gabby, I found your blog from Pumpkin Seeds (Cyclesistas) and I just love how you are overcoming your needle phobia! I remember my first shots vividly, how on earth would I pierce my pristine skin with a giant needle (the tiny lupron needles were the first ones)??? But it was such a feeling of triumph when I would get through one more round, and then even a couple of the IM shots myself when my DH was gone. And it's a secret victory since no one (mostly, except internet friends) knows I'm doing this!

Anyway, great job - I really hope these shots lead you to the perfect pregnancy!

Jaymee said...

YAY!! you can poke yourself!!! i am so afraid of that part.

Gabby said...

Thanks for all the comments..

Jaymee - I'm telling you, if i can do this, you can totally do this - I was SOOOO afraid of this.. to the point where my husband and I were going to hire an RN to come every night and give me the shots. I was willing to spend ANYTHING (and remember I am super frugal and not a spender!) to not have to do it. But I'm telling you, it's not that bad.

Gabby said...

musicmakermomma - i just read your blog and posted an anonymous comment - it didn't let me give my name.. anyway, I'm with you on the "secret victory" thing.. my coworkers and friends in real life don't know either..

i'm thinking good thoughts about your next cycle.

marilyn said...

I have no idea if you still go to this blog..but I would love to communicate with you. I am a first time ivfer..and you seem to faint like me.I completley am the same, it is a control thing. I fainted during my saline sonogram and anytime I take my bllod. I did it today while my blood was being taken. I am just so scared if I fainted for a little bit of blood taken from me, mind you it burned for an hour, how am I going to give birth to a child. I wouldlove tohear how you did it..twice!! \my name is MArilyn and my email is