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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Deciding to be positive

Ok, so I've decided to be positive.. because why not?

I called my nurse coordinator and told her I wanted to come in for a beta tomorrow. She said, sure, and I'm going in at 7:30 tomorrow morning. She told me that she herself has seen cases of numbers this low getting a lot better.. and she said that maybe the biopsy because of PGD could have slowed the growth. That I can wrap my hands around - there is a potential reason there. So, beta, tomorrow morning and we'll know more.

In the meantime, I'm going to be positive. It has happened before that a live baby has resulted from numbers this low. And it will happen again. It doesn't happen every single time, and yes, the odds are against me. However, hoping it will happen and believing it can happen can't hurt nothen'.. right?

Carlos tells me God is in control of our family-making, and I believe that. I believed it when I saw the first little post-it note he wrote me, but the other two were helpful reminders. :)

Thanks to my resolve group, a woman I've never met sent me an email with a link to a great database of beta values. Looking at that database, I see instances of people in my age group that got numbers this low and also heard a heartbeat later in their pregnancy. Maybe I will add my numbers to this when appropriate and give other women hope.

So, I'm a little pregnant. For now, I am. So i will live in this moment and enjoy that. And if my levels drop, then I will decide what to do next. For now, I will just wait until tomorrow's beta before I think too far into the future.

7 comments:

donna said...

I'm so proud of you for choosing to be positive. I firmly believe that it can make a real difference, even if I often find it a struggle with my nature to do.

I'll be checking back and hoping things go your way.

Brenna said...

Your attitude is an inspiration! I'm continuing to pull for you.
xxoo

sophia said...

What Donna said. :)
Afterall, you are one of the most positive people I know.

Michele said...

sending prayers and warm thoughts your way!

Erin W. said...

So happy to see that you are thinking positively!!! Will keep you and yours in my thoughts and hope for an awesome beta!!!

musicmakermomma said...

Sending hope and hugs your way - glad your mom is going, it is nice she is so supportive! And absolutely there have been numbers that low resulting in live babies - so hope away! Good luck!

BB said...

You motivate me! My prayers are with you! Thanks for your wishes too!