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Saturday, May 30, 2009

I Took a Home Pregnancy Test

I went to Walgreen's last night. I had a "Transfer your prescription and get 25 bucks," and they burn a hole in my pocket if I don't use them quickly. So I transferred my folic acid prescription way early and went there.

They were like "this will take 45 minutes" because we have to fax this information to Rite Aid.

I'm like "Who faxes anymore?" But whatever, I can go look around anyway.

So, I go to the pregnancy test aisle. My theory is to find one that detects the highest amount of HCG, not one of the early result. Since my beta level was 23-point-something on Thursday, I figured i would test on Saturday first morning urine, and it would have to be at least 50 for me to continue hoping. I think in general the 50+ detectors are the non-early result ones.

Out of all the tests at Walgreen's, there was only one that was non-early results. ONE! It's was the Walgreens brand, and it was on sale 9.99 for a pack of two. I know all you smart infertiles buy them at the dollar store, but I am not really a hoarder of them, and I don't know where there is a Dollar Store, and I had a 25 dollar coupon anyway.

SO, I tested this morning. And I got a big minus, where there shoudl have been a plus. I woke up Carlos and asked him to look at it. I brought him the instructions and said "Which one does this look like?"

He pointed to the negative on the instructions, and I really agree.

I told my dad what was going on the other day and he said, "Well, a little pregnant is better than not pregnant at all." On the phone, I said, "Yeah, there's hope." But right now, I've decided that no, it's not.

If i'm not pregnant, I can have sex with my husband. I can take a bath and shave my legs. I can go to the nail salon. I can use the scale in our bathroom that sends a shock wave through your body to tell you your muscular percentage and body fat. (It might be dangerous in pregnancy.) I can go have some sushi. I can have some wine. I can go for a run.

Oh yeah, and I can cancel the acupuncture appointment I have for Tuesday and save that 75 bucks for early retirement. And I can stop taking the estrogen pills and progesterone tablets, and stop spending money on panty liners.

I can make plans for What To Do Next.

Wow, I'm starting to get excited about not being pregnant.

So, I called the clinic and said I wanted to come in. When did I want to come in? they asked. Well, now would work or i coudl come in thirty minutes. (I'm going to be great at giving choices to my children when I have them.)

So, I'll have some sort of report later tonight.

And advice on what to do next is welcome.

7 comments:

'Murgdan' said...

No advice...I still hope things look all doubled and such. I'm still not excited about being NOT pregnant, but I will say it's been nice not to have to wear a diaper in my panties. Gosh those liner things are annoying! Also I'm enjoying the wine...nightly. Still, I hope you have to wear panty-liners and have to avoid that painful sounding scale for awhile...

...and I would love to officially be able to move you to my ever-growing 'pregnant' folder in my GoogleReader.

Hang in there.

Michele said...

dont give up hope, gabby. i know it's hard but keep thinking positive until there is no reason left. dont let a pee stick take that hope away.

Erin W. said...

No advice here either. But I hope you get a definite yes or no.

BB said...

I just figured out that I am just a little pregnant too!!! I hope this sticks around for both of us! {HUGS}

Flower said...

(((HUGS)))

KJ said...

Anxiously awaiting the result. I hope its a double! I have to tell you that you are SO lucky to have totsicles, no matter what the outcome of this test. I never had any of those, and I think somehow gearing up for an FET must be easier than gearing up for a fresh cycle. So those are 4 little blessings to count.

musicmakermomma said...

This is such a hard time, and I really hope you have a big doubling beta. But I love your list of things (I have one every time too!) that you can do if you're not pg. I just need to know what to plan for - if I'm pg I want to know and look out over the next 9 months (and beyond) to plan for it. If I'm not I want a definitive answer so I can decide what to do next - and get started on the wine!

Good luck whatever the outcome, waiting for your late report.